The school year has started – YAY! Some parents cheer. But, there is some sadness because there is a lot of fun with summertime, less structure and definitely more laid back. One thing is for sure, there is a lot less drama for kids to deal with.
Kids aren’t around their friends 5 days a week for weeks on end – it seems! There isn’t the constant comparison, there isn’t the worry who to sit next to or with at lunch, and all the extra stress that goes with all of this. As parents, we want to instill the best in our children. To make them good human beings, to be respectful of others, and above all to be kind.
But what happens when our kids go through so much, much more than what they should be going through. As parents, we often think, should I step in? When
should I step in? It is healthy to help guide our children, they need to learn to deal with conflict, it will be around the remainder of their lives.
My daughter started out the school year well! She was happy to see her friends. She has friends in classes with her. Obviously, she was not happy to see summer go, but sometimes we just have to do things in life we don’t want to do! Haha
So, with the start of the school year, was the start of drama all over again. The biggest pain of my existence, I swear! I’m like, girl drama, here we go again! New school year, new drama. My husband and I have spent countless hours talking with our children how to stay out of the troubles and not consume themselves with it. To let things go and not hold on to the negativity of others, because this negativity will eat you up.
We also teach them that there are consequences in their actions and what they say, how they act. So, first day of school my daughter comes home with drama that happened with the lunch table. Lovely! But she talked with us about it. She was open with us and LISTENED to us. It is so important as parents that we learn to give our children the tools to handle the drama, to trust that our children can handle the drama, and for us to stay out of their drama!
The Bible says that conflict is a part of human life and that it can be a catalyst
for greater understanding and intimacy, but it can also lead to anger and broken
relationships. Don’t get me wrong, we checked our daughters’ phone and made sure she did her part with all of this. But we did not reach out to other parents for her, we did not reach out to the school for her. We simply advised her to be respectful of others and basically to stay out of it. Providing her with the tools on who to go to for help, if she needed it. If a mean text or snap came through, ignore it and bring it to our attention. That way we can talk with her on how to respond or if to respond.
In Matthew 18:15-16 it instructs people to settle differences privately with each other, and if that doesn’t work, to seek help from one or two others. Some kids are so quick to react and become defensive and mean. Taking some time to think about it before responding, help the individual to calm down, think things through, and be more respectful with an approach to correct something.
The best feeling though, was our daughter stayed out of the drama! She did not say or do anything that would come back on her. She was open with my husband and I and followed our lead – because as parents, like it or not, that’s part of our job. We were so proud of her and she was proud of herself as well! Not that
we won’t face drama again, but for now, this case is over!
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